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Meet new friend.





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Singapore florist.





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Malaysia real estate property site.

==========================================***************************===================================
Fertilizer Club
This letter is being sent to you because we know that you are critically interested in the condition of your lawn. This is a fertilizer club that will not cost you a cent to join! Upon receipt of this letter, go to the address at the top of the list and shit on their front lawn. You will not be the only one there, so do not feel embarrassed.

Then make five copies of this letter and send them to five of your friends who appreciate a good lawn. Add your name to the letter. You will not get any money or cheques, but within one week , if this chain is not broken, there will be 9,126 people shitting on your lawn. Your reward will come next spring when you will have one of the greenest, most beautiful lawns in the neighbourhood.

Mrs. Harry Butt - 236 Corn Cob Alley 



Malaysia florist.

==========================================***************************===================================
Dirty Jokes Part XVI
Miss Annabell had just returned from her big trip to New York City and was having refreshments on the front porch of her daddy's mansion with her southern belle friends. She tells them the stories of her trip as they stare spellbound. "You just wouldn't believe what they have there in New York City," says Miss Annabell. "They have men there who kiss other men on the lips." 

Miss Annabell's friends fan themselves and say, "Oh my! Oh my!" 

"They call them homosexuals," proclaims Miss Annabell. 

"Oh my! Oh my," proclaim the girls as they fan themselves. 

"They also have women there in New York City who kiss other women on the lips!" 

"Oh my! Oh my," exclaim the girls. "What do they call them?" they ask. 

"They call them lesbians," says Miss Annabell. 

"They also have men who kiss women between the legs, there in New York City," sighs Miss Annabell. 

"Oh my! Oh my! Oh my," exclaim the girls as the sit on the edge of their chairs and fan themselves even faster. "What do they call them?" they ask in unison. Miss Annabell leans forward and says in a hush, "Why when I caught my breath, I called him Precious."



Singapore property.

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Attempts At Sex
To My Dearest Wife,

During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:

We will wake the kids - 54 times



Translation service.

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You're A Mom When...
You know you're a mom when...

You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.



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Fun While Driving
30 fun things to do when driving...



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==========================================***************************===================================
Best Headliners
Here are the best headlines of the year (yes, they are real)...

1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

2. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says

3. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers

4. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

5. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case

6. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

8. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope

9. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

10. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands

11. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms

12. Eye Drops Off Shelf

13. Teachers Strike Idle Kids

14. Clinton Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead

15. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax

16. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told

17. Miners Refuse To Work After Death

18. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant

19. Stolen Painting Found By Tree

20. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter

21. Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years

22. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One

23. War Dims Hope For Peace

24. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

25. Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures

26. Deer Kill 17,000

27. Enfields Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide

28. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

29. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

30. Man Struck By Lightening Faces Battery Charge

31. New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group

32. Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft

33. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

34. Chef Throws His Heart In Helping Feed Needy

35. Arson Suspect Held In Massachusetts Fire

36. Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood

37. Local High School Dropout Cuts In Half

38. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

39. Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors



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==========================================***************************===================================
Viagra Line Of Drugs
With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society....

DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and "little accidents."

COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorites store's return limit.

NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.

FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.

PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors."

LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.



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==========================================***************************===================================
Graffiti Wisdom
You can learn a lot from reading the graffiti in a bathroom, library or other public area...



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==========================================***************************===================================
Gangsta Test
The following exam was administered to gangsters as their version of the SAT, this version is known as the official GAT (Gangsta Aptitude Tess)...

1) You just robbed som jack mo fo with $20 in his wallet. You can buy:



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==========================================***************************===================================
A Dog Named Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend
so get yourself a dog."



Singapore florist.

==========================================***************************===================================
Cat Translations
Miaow
Feed me.



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==========================================***************************===================================
Why Aren't You Married?
Comebacks to that all time favorite question "Why Aren't You Married Yet?"

You haven't asked yet.

I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.

Because I just love hearing this question.

Just lucky, I guess.

It gives my mother something to live for.

My fianc�e is awaiting his/her parole.

I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.

Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?

I'm waiting until I get to be your age.

It didn't seem worth a blood test.

I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.

Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.

My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.

I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.

They just opened a great singles bar on my block.

I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.

I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.

What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?

I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.

Why aren't you thin?

I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.

(Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.



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==========================================***************************===================================
Windows 98 Errors
Windows 98 Error Codes Reference

Recently the following undocumented Windows 98 error-codes were found. Microsoft forgot to explain them in the manuals, so they will be spread via the Internet:

WinErr: 001
Windows loaded - System in danger



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==========================================***************************===================================
Dirty Jokes Part XVII
The racing-car driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face. "What's the matter?!? Didn't I satisfy you when we screwed?" he asked. "It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble," said the angry woman. "In your sleep, you felt my tits and mumbled, 'What perfect headlights.' Then you felt my thighs and murmured, 'what a smooth finish.'"

"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver. "Nothing, but then you felt my pussy and yelled, 'who the hell left the garage door open?'"



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==========================================***************************===================================
Crude Sex Jokes III
Q. What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A. They can both smell it, but can't eat it.



Singapore florist.

==========================================***************************===================================
Christmas Humor
The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed.

He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.

Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks

I have a good mind to scrap the whole works.

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,

Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear?

The old lady bitches cause I work late at night

The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids

Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS

And just when I thought that things would get better

Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter

They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny

Who the hell ever sent Santa Clause any money?

And the kids these days - they all are the pits

They want the impossible ...Those mean little shits

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds

Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads

I made a ton of yo yo's - No request for them

They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees

Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees

I'm quitting this job...there's just no enjoyment

I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment

There's no Christmas this year...now you know the reason

I found me a blonde.. I'm going SOUTH for the season!



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==========================================***************************===================================
Types Of Breasts
There are many types of breasts out there, but until now, many people experienced problems communicating what particular breasts were like until now...

. . Itty bitty titties
()() Little breasts
(.)(.) Nice breasts
(o)(o) Perfect  breasts
(D)(D) Bullets
(O)(O) Handful breasts
(~0~)(~0~) Stretch mark breasts
\o/.\o/ Grandma's breasts
[o][o] Breasts during a mammogram
* ^ * Flat chest
(+0(+0) Fake silicone breasts
(*)(*) High nipple breasts
(@)(@) Big nipple breasts
oo A cups
{O}{O} D cups
(^)(^) Cold breasts
(<)(<) Perky breasts
(o)(O) Lopsided breasts
(Q)(O) Pierced breasts
(p)(p) Hanging tassels breasts
(-)(-) Flat against the shower door breasts
lollol Android breasts
($)($) Jenny McCarthy's breasts
(ooo) Total Recall breasts (she had three!)
(O)A(O) Tit fucked breasts


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==========================================***************************===================================
Hotel Translations
We all know how misleading the description of hotels and motels can be. So we put together a translation table to help you out... So when you see one of the phrases listed on the left, you will know what it really means by reading the translation on the right!



Malaysia real estate property site.

==========================================***************************===================================
Dirty Jokes Part XVIII
While in the playground with his friend, Little Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch. "Did you get that for your birthday?" asked Little Johnny. "Nope." replied Jimmy. "Well, did you get it for Christmas then?". Again Jimmy says "Nope." "You didn't steal it, did you?" asks Little Johnny. "No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night when they were 'doing the nasty'. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me.

Little Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself. That night, he waited outside his parents' bedroom until he heard the unmistakable noises of
lovemaking. Just then, he swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and said angrily. "What do you want now?" "I wanna watch," Johnny replied.

Without missing a stroke, his father said, "Fine. Stand in the corner and watch, but keep quiet."



Malaysia florist.

==========================================***************************===================================
Bicycles Or Women
Why bicycles are better than Women...



Singapore property.

==========================================***************************===================================
Beer Versus Pussy
It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men,  beer and pussy...

A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
advantage: Tie

If you get a hair in your teeth
consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the
person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is
still edible.
Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer,
your wife may get mad. If you come home
smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not
drive. 6 pussies in a night and you
have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Tie

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath,
you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath,
you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.

Wearing a condom does not make a beer
any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.

Pussy can make you see God. Beer can
make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy 
you will have, you are normal. 
If you think all day about your next beer, 
you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.

If you try to snag a beer at work,
you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy
at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Tie

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may
break. If you suddenly drop a pussy,
it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your
old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: Beer.

The best pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.

The worst pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Tie

Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead,
 Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage Pussy.

The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.



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==========================================***************************===================================
How Cold Is It?
Its amazing what effect temperature has on things...



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==========================================***************************===================================
Blonde Jokes II
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"



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==========================================***************************===================================
University Jokes
These University jokes are poking fun at the "other" universities in your area. We welcome University jokes from universities students around the world...



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==========================================***************************===================================
Rules For Women
This is a list of rules that guys wished women knew...



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==========================================***************************===================================
Computer Problems
Computer Problem Report Form

1. Describe your problem:
__________________________________________

2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
__________________________________________



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==========================================***************************===================================
Top Ten Lists II
Top Ten Things To Say About a Christmas Gift You Don't Like...

10. Hey! Now there's a gift! 

9. Well, well, well... 

8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would've fit. 

7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement. 

6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires. 

5. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious! 

4. I love it - but I fear the jealousy it will inspire. 

3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program. 

2. To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity. 

1. I really don't deserve this.



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==========================================***************************===================================
Roommate Sex
The top 50 things to do or say when you wake up to your roommate having sex...



Singapore florist.

==========================================***************************===================================
Difficult English
Some reasons why the English language is hard to learn...



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==========================================***************************===================================
Classified Ads
The following were actually taken from recent classified ads in newspapers...

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG 

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG. 

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer 

AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED. 

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS. 

FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART STUPID DOG 

2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15 

TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800 

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE. 

83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000 

STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT - $15 

SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE 89 cents 

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE. 

FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR. WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL. 

FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME. 

FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50 

NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED *************CALL CHUBBIE 

BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS" 

SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS 

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT..BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE REWARD. 

HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!" 

GET A LITTLE JOHN: THE TRAVELING URINAL HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER. 

HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB 

GEORGIA PEACHES CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb. 

NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE SLIGHTLY STAINED 

FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT. 

AMERICAN FLAG 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED $100 

TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR. 

EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS -$175. 

OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER. 

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300. 

LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY. 

ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER 

GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.



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==========================================***************************===================================
Dear Mr. Abby
Ever wondered what it would be like if Dear Abby was a man?



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Living In A Flood
The pros and cons of living in a flood plain...



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==========================================***************************===================================
Prison Or Work
When you think about the differences between work and prison, maybe prison isn't so bad...



Singapore florist.

==========================================***************************===================================
Non-Stress Diet
The Non-Stress Diet

This diet is designed to help you cope with stress which normally builds up during the day.



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==========================================***************************===================================
Your New Computer
Congratulations! You have purchased an Anthrax 2000 Multimedia Personal Computer with Digital Doo-Dah Enhancer. It will give many years of faithful service, if you ever get it up and running. Also included with your PC is a special bonus pack of free pre-installed software:- 'Lawn Mowing Planner', 'Blank Screen Saver', 'East Africa Route Finder' and 'X15 Submarine Mechanic' valued at over a fiver, which will provide hours of pointless diversion whilst using up most of your computers spare memory. You are now ready to begin the installation so turn the page and lets get started!

<new page>

Getting Ready: Congratulations, you have successfully turned the page which means you have a high enough IQ to realize things don't look too good. If your delicate PC has arrived in a damaged box, possibly from miss-handling or being dropped, it will be doubtful that the box will be of any use and can be thrown away.

Important meaningless note: The Anthrax 2000 is configured to use the 80386, Z80 and ARMITAGE SHANKS processors running at 2,472 hertz on variable speed spin cycle. Check your electrical installation and insurance policies before proceeding. Do not tumble dry. To prevent internal heat build up, select a cool, dry environment for your computer. The bottom shelf of a refrigerator is ideal. Unpack the box and examine its contents. (WARNING: Do not open the box if contents are missing or faulty as this will invalidate your warranty. Return all missing contents in their original packaging with a note explaining where they have gone and a replacement will be sent within twelve working months.) Also, only open the box if you intend to use your PC as this will bind you to the terms and conditions set out in the manual, which will be sent to you when it has been written. The contents of the box (if you have the deluxe model) should include some of the following: Monitor with mysterious De Gauss button; keyboard with 2� inches of flex; computer unit; miscellaneous wires and cables not necessarily designed for this model; 2,000 page 'Owners Manual' of which 1,987 pages are in 26 different languages; 'Short Guide to the Owners Manual'; 'Quick Start Guide' to the 'Short Guide to the Owners Manual'; 'Laminated Super-Kwik Set-Up Guide for People Who Are Exceptionally Impatient or Stupid'; 1,167 pages of warranties, vouchers, notices in Spanish and other loose pieces of paper; 292 cubic feet of cardboard and Styrofoam packing material.

All our PC's are subjected to a rigorous 24 hour 'Burn In - Burn Out' test. Please wipe off any soot from the case before using.

Something They Didn't Tell You When You Ordered: Because of the additional power hungry needs of the Computer like switching it on, you will need to acquire an Anthrax 2000 auxiliary hardware upgrade pack, a 900 volt memory capacitor for the auxiliary hardware pack, a 50 megahertz oscillator for the memory capacitor, 64 Gigabytes of additional memory for the oscillator and a small electrical substation.

Setting Up: You are now ready to set up your PC. If you have not yet acquired a degree in Electrical engineering, now is the time to do so. Connect the monitor cable (A) to the portside outlet unit (D); attach power offload unit sub-orbiter (Xii) to the co-axial AC/DC servo channel (G); plug the three-pin mouse cable into the keyboard housing unit (make an extra hole if necessary); connect modem (B2) to offside parallel audio/video lineout jack. Alternatively, plug the cables into the most likely looking holes, switch on and see what happens. Additional meaningless note: The wires in the ampule modulator unit are marked as follows: blue = neutral or live; yellow = live or blue; blue and live = neutral and green; black = instant death. Plug in, switch on, and retire to a safe distance. If after plugging in and switching on your PC nothing happens, the items sent to you may have been 
mislabelled. Please try plugging in the box. Should your computer appear to be working, please contact us immediately as we may need to employ you.







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more jokes.